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| So, a poet is
not a philosopher, huh?
I believe you. I nearly
wept from the "mere" words
he let go of.
In bed, I thought, "I love words."
Three days later, today
I took my grandpa's advice
and swam. In water suspended, I smiled.
The trees danced, and the
sky lit up. In the beginning
the questions and furies receded. Compromise. Congress. Progress.
Between the tension I lie
Dreaming of mercy street
and waking, burning to express
to enjoy, unable to find an appendage
What is the appendix for? The pastor said last week that
the foundation is grace
Almost like being held together
in the pool, and afterward
and months before at ni
ght when I walke
d home from t
he libr ar y
kneeling b
ene at th
e stars. | | |
| 11:00 on the night before Easter
The years, sometimes, grow heavy
like a tombstone. Seventeen candles, seventeen stars
blown out, resurrected with wood
Each time your hand hits the drum
and rises we wait:
life is the space between the stars
the pages between the bookends
the fighting out, fleshing out
spawning of love. Today is a torch
Yesterday was good
Tomorrow we find the beauty
we found today. I'm glad you're here.
We would not be the same without yu. | | |
| Sometimes I've wondered why the cross is the primary symbol for Christians. I mean, his death is important, but I thought the good news was that he resurrected. Why don't we hang empty tombs around our necks, instead?
Last night I was talking to a pastor on campus. He said that the cross is an appropriate symbol because it reveals to us the nature of God: He suffers for us. He left his glorious power in heaven to be with us, to defend the weak, to live a holy life in the midst of persecution, and to die for it. He brought us back over to God.
That is the nature of love. And that is how we are told to live. Sometimes it will cause friction. People will hurt us because we speak out against evil and hypocricy, because we side with the weak as he did. Sometimes, even, it will cause us to go down a path that others will say is a waste of time. But Jesus himself wasted time for us. He did not ditch his disciples when they didn't understand the deep lessons he taught. No, he patiently explained it to them again and again.
"Who will be the greatest in heaven? Lord please let me sit by your side!"
"Are you ready to suffer as I will suffer?"
"Yes!"
"You will. But it's not up to me to decide who will sit next to me in heaven. You know that the leaders of the world boast about their high power, but that's not how you should be. No; if you want to be first, you must become last. The greatest of all is the servant of all."
That is what it means to be his follower.
How did he serve you?
In the same way, let's serve each other. | | |
| They sat by a table lit by candles. It was the night before Passover, when a lamb was slaughtered in the temple yearly for the sins of the people. It was also the night before Jesus would die. Knowing God had put all things into his hands, with a towel and bowl of water, Jesus grabbed and washed the disciples' feet. It was a custom of servitude and honor. It was love. Peter backed away. "If anything, I should be washing your feet!" Jesus always brought them to a new understanding of how they were to live. He told them that because he was their teacher, they should follow his example and do the same for each other. "You do not understand what I am doing now, but soon you will." Then he became clear: "A new commandment I give to you: That you love one another as I have loved you. That's how others will know that you are my followers." A new commandment? The old ones were familiar. They were the Law and the Prophets, the systems and regulations handed down generation after generation. Sometimes the religious elders would twist them and become ultra-strict. Around the time Jesus came, Israel was in bondage and certain groups believed that the Jews needed to change their behaviors. They'd probably say things like, "The reason we are in chains to the empire is because there is so much immorality! There is so much sin in the world. Taxcollectors cheat us. People don't give enough money to the church! People don't follow the Sabbath like they are supposed to. And the wicked prostitutes? We have to avoid them! Avoid the drunkards too. Don't lie! Don't murder, like those religious zealots do! God doesn't like that!" As well-intentioned as they were, Jesus' message countered theirs. It was unpopular to eat dinner with a whore, with a lying businessman, with a known suspect. At the time, and even today, sharing a table with someone meant approving of them. Rather than avoiding the guilty, Jesus included them into his company. He didn't care about outward behavior. He cared about heart. Our character. Our motives. "You say not to commit adultery? Well, if you lust after someone with your eyes and in your heart, you've already had sex with him or her right there. Don't be so quick to judge others, or God will judge you." Someone seeking truth asked, "Ok then, what SHOULD we do? What is the best commandment we should follow?" Jesus answered, "This is the entire Law summed into one: 'Love God with all that you are, and love your neighbor as yourself." This is the way of life. I find it easy to find fault with those around me. I could probably find a flaw with anyone, if I looked hard enough. And I could preach sermons after sermons about how people sin, how we shouldn't do this, how we shouldn't do that, how pornography is bad, how adultery is bad. But if that's my focus, maybe I'm missing the point. Maybe I'm reading the text but avoiding the bigger picture. Unless we reach the heart, we won't be able to change those outward behaviors. Unless we ourselves live a holy life, who are we to crucify someone who erred? Didn't Jesus, being in the form of God, serve us by kneeling beside our heels, cleaning our filthy feet? Being in the form of God, didn't he leave his home to not only visit us, but spend time with us, show us a better way to live (in fact the only way to live), and even die so that our muddy souls could find a home in God's arms? We can spend enough time worrying about our own lives. Let's make sure we love God by loving other people, because he is love, and when we love, he lives with us. And our example is Love himself, who did not see our mistakes or accusations, but looked deeper into a person who he himself molded with his hands. He knows us and despite our outward filth, scrubs us and forgives us and asks - no, he commands - that we do the same for each other. | | |
| Tonight I was feeling depressed. I think what triggered it was a poem about death by Galway Kinnell. Poems have power. But even before, I have been afraid of death; not my own, but those I love. I don't want them to die. But I can't stop time. I can't hold back the days; they keep escaping. I have told myself I'd rather die than experience their dying. Tonight I felt so scared and powerless. What can I do to prevent death? I read a journal in which I wrote, "Fear not; I am with you." I was quoting God, of course. It reminded me that I cannot live in fear. I have to trust that God will take me or my loved ones when we are ready. He will be with us no matter what tragedy occurs. He will give us strength. In the meantime I want to live boldly, not making choices out of fear, but out of love. Love shines on fear and casts it away like the night kneeling in the presence of bleeding red dawn. | | |
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